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Couples Therapy

Build a relationship where you feel valued, safe, connected, autonomous & in each other’s care.

Transform the culture of your partnership - become a two-person system with shared values and goals where you are seen and heard.

 

Learn one another’s emotional allergies so you can experience support and safety when in distress.

 

Replace compromise with win/win.

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Clients come to me experiencing... 

  • Communication challenges

  • Betrayal (sexual/emotional/financial)

  • Loneliness in your relationship/isolation as a couple

  • Hitting the same arguments over and over

  • Intimacy/Sexual challenges 

  • Different parenting philosophies

  • Blended family  challenges

  • Stresses around financial agreements

  • Separation through distance/work

  • Feeling second to your partner’s family/job/addiction

  • Power/Financial/Labour imbalance

  • Feeling trapped

  • Heading in different directions

  • Manipulation 

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Perhaps you have tried: 

  • Agreements that didn't hold

  • Retreats, workshops and books 

  • Trial Separation

  • Making bids for repair/connection, only to be ignored

  • Couple therapy/mediation that still leaves something unfinished

Through working together you will move towards experiencing a relationship where: 

  • You feel valued, seen and understood

  • You feel equal to your partner

  • You experience your partner really having your back

  • You know true partnership

  • You are free to be fully you whilst in partnership

  • You feel safe to connect with and express your sexuality

  • You put each other first

  • There is a culture of justice, fairness and sensitivity

  • You are available to each other physically and emotionally

  • You know that your partner’s behaviour is neither intentional nor personal

  • You skilfully manage ‘thirds’ (kids, work, in-laws)​

  • You have agreements in advance of challenges to support you through them

  • You learn how to manage the other 

  • You become interdependent - not to be confused with co-dependent

  • You learn how to create a win/win instead of a compromise

How this is different: 

I will be drawing on the very latest neuroscience, attachment theory, nervous system understanding, trauma knowledge and psychobiology to combine a unique blend where, in addition to giving ‘tools’, we support you to shift your physiological response to one another and shift the culture of your two person system.

 

I'll be supporting you to rebuild your relationship from the ground up, healing wounds and defining your purpose and vision as a couple. You will structure agreements that put guardrails on the relationship so you can stop tripping each other up. You will live in a system built on fairness, justice and sensitivity.

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What informs our work together...

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“Tui was a phenomenal coaching partner - The culture in our organisation now sees us move truly as one organism, this has led to some incredible innovations within the business, in both product and process. Our relationships with our clients are stronger, which has led to an increase in repeat customers and a higher average spend. Clients are enamoured with this environment and simply want to be a part of it. We've 'leveled up’.”

- Adam Whatton, Founder Waiheke Dive & Snorkel.

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